I'm at an odd crossroads in my life. I lament the fact that life isn't happening sooner, faster, now! I want my life to begin now! And I feel like I'm constantly waiting for a moment when it will begin. As though I'll know it when it arrives. And at the same time I'm trying to 'remember' things that happen now for when I'm older and wondering what I did when I was 23. What am I doing? Sitting in my room online, watching TV, wondering why I can't make friends in this city or where the money for going out with them will come from. I honestly feel like more of a loser in this city than I did before. Wow.
I thought when I moved to New York I'd really be doing something, doing something worthy of remembering when I'm 80. I don't know when those times will begin but if they do I'll be right here waiting for them.
Is it better to live in a very cool town without money and friends, for the sake of the coolness, or better to live in a cheap place for the sake of the friends and freedom from 'coolness'?
To be in a city or not to be. That is the question.
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4 comments:
I keep telling myself to "stick it out" too. It's hard, this city, y'know?
You guys need to wake up and smell the flowers. I promise you, once spring rolls around for real, life changes! All of a sudden people spend time outside, wear dresses and have picnics in the park. Most importantly, people are happier and they smile. It's just easier when it's nice outside. Being completely on you own in a new place teaches you some valuable things, as I am sure you know by now. I am proud of you for sticking it out. But you know, if it's not for you, than it's just not. Don't force yourself. Life is too short to be miserable. You tried it out for a few months and you added an awesome experience onto your resume. You have to do what makes you happy. But wait until spring, before making any decisions. That is my advice. I miss you tons. XO
I'm wondering, do you live your life to make memories for when you're older? Or can you live in the moment? You are living now - you may feel like you're waiting, but you are living. Don't make trouble for yourself by worrying that these moments won't be memorable. Just live them!
thanks anonymous. Maybe you could write for Hallmark. You sure helped me figure out my problems.
Now if you have any advice for how to actually follow that advice I'd be willing to read it. Everyone talks about living life in the moment but how do you actually do it? It's like some Bhuddist conundrum meant to confuse those who try to meditate on it.
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