Another Day Closer

Sorry, I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself and I should quit gripping, like I did in my last post. I know that this job is short and then I get to go home and have days off. It's just that when I'm in the middle of working a lot, and don't get much time off to do the things I like to do, I forget that I have it alright and I sink into that blind frustration that sees no end. This might be why I hate working so much. I should remember that when I do have a real job I won't have to work weekends (or at least, not constantly) and I won't have to work a second job and go running from place to place like I did last summer. It also doesn't help that I spontaneously like to do things like bake or paint and so to be constricted in an office where I can't just do that seems so very cruel. The days seem long now and they're fairly boring, but in a few days I will be past all that and can indulge in things and people. And do yoga again. It's surprising how much I miss it.

As you might know, if you have been following this blog assiduously, as you should be, you would know that I have come to the conclusion that I would much prefer the lifestyle of an educator. Being able to educate young people and help them see the world in a different way, and the freedom of summers and not working in a boring office are all things that I kinda want. And the freedom to write and go back to grad school. So, after this show is finished I'm going to retire from the entertainment business and hang up my credentials and get a full time job and go to grad school. As interesting as this career blip has been, seeing the other side of all those live shows broadcast throughout the country, or filmmaking, I don't think this is for me in the long run. There are too many things that I want out of life that I see myself compromising if I continued on in this career. I don't want this badly enough. I want academia and time to read and contemplate and discuss.