This morning as I was driving to work I began to have an existential crisis. I know, I know, why am I having an existential crisis on the packed suburban highway at 24, on my way to my first real job of five months? Wait a while and come back to me, you're saying. Well, I disagree my friends. Now is the perfect time for an existential crisis to begin. Here I am, just finished with my grad school applications, soon to be 25 (in May), in a decent enough job that if I wanted to live in a mediocore reality I could spin out indefinitely, and all I can see stretching out before me is a bland, mashed potatoes, middle class, suburban destiny. Where is the joy that comes from life? Where is the excitement? Why am I still waking up in the morning, if this is all there is?
Maybe part of this stems from having just returned from a trip and settling back down to the regularly programmed schedule, but I sort of feel like I'm getting old and letting opportunities pass me by. I feel like being in America, having the American Dream forced down your throat precludes you from living an interesting life. Job security feels like a dirty word to me. I don't want to worry about these things, certainly not now, and hopefully not ever. Whenever I get like this I try to remember this quote I like "The future, unimagined for the sake of the glorious, difficult present." But what if the present doesn't seem so glorious or difficult, and continues on conventionally into the future? Can I handle a conventional future? Am I becoming conventional? Somebody help me out here. What do you think?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Everyone works a boring, soulless job when they are young. Einstein was a patent clerk, Melville a ship's hand, PKD a record store employee. Don't worry about having a shitty job early on. That's why it's an early job. You get experience and get out.
And whatever you're doing, it's got to be more existentially satisfying than working at the GMU info desk.
Thank you! Good points! Now I am going to settle down and do some writing to help me get over this existential hump. But uh, who's PKD? Am I an idiot for not knowing this?
Well you could always go to freelance, comme moi. It's not exactly fun wondering where your next paycheck will come from but it's certainly never dull. I never thought I'd hear myself say it but a full time job would suit me nicely right now. Oddly enough. So maybe I could get a nice place to live (that's the only reason why I'm saying it).
Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
Post a Comment