My bags are packed, I'm ready to go, I'm standin' here outside your door, I hate to wake you up to say goodbye. But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn. The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die. So kiss me and smile for me. Tell me that you'll wait for me. Hold me like you'll never let me go...oh oops. That's a John Denver song! Sometimes I get my life confused with lyrics from 70's folk singers.
I guess it does make a little sense. Except my bags aren't quite packed yet and I'm not taking a taxi or leaving on a jet plane. More like the Chinatown Express. But the sentiment is the same. Ah, John Denver. You spoke for us all when you sang those words. I'm getting ready to make the long journey north. I haven't even left yet and already I'm so lonesome I could die. All right! Enough folk singers!
But seriously, folks. I am pretty nervous. I'm going to be up there New Year's Eve and I just got finished watching "When Harry Met Sally" and envisioning myself strolling the streets of New York trying to pretend I'm happy to catch up on my window shopping...alone...on New Year's Eve. And I'm wondering where my Sally comes in. When do I meet the friend that can save me from eternal lonliness in the city that never sleeps. It takes me a long time to get comfortable in a city and this time I don't have the safety net of school or friends to help me. I mean, I have a few friends but no one very close. And they're just guys. I don't know where I'm going to meet people who will want to be my friends. I feel like a kid on the first day at a new school. And it's worse than that! At least at a new school all the kids are eager to find out who you are, where you came from. You have a modicrum of mystery hanging about you. In New York no one's going to care that you're new to town. New people arrive fresh off the boat every ten seconds. I feel like I just might be the brunt of some horrible newbie practical joke; like in every movie I've ever seen when a small town girl comes to the big city to make it and instead gets kicked around by fate. Of course in those she always maintains her sense of hope and optimism and some how it all works out for her. I don't expect to be so lucky. I mean, luck can only carry me so far. I've been very lucky up until now. I've gotten a job and a place to live without even lifting a finger. I got an internship with only your average amount of input. (okay, I did have the trip from hell getting to the interview but that's only part of the comedic exposition. It's not the actual obstacle I've got to overcome. It never is.)
And so I'm left wondering if this all came just a little too easily. Will I really be given the chance of a lifetime and end up with the penthouse, the dream job and the boy after learning a valuable life lesson about the good that comes from hard work, creativity and a little hope? Or will this end like The Jungle, where he faces one hideous, life crushing blow after another but has to survive. And what about the friends? When do I make those?
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