The Fug at Work

Yesterday I commited a heinous error. I let the delivery guy go to the bathroom in...THE OFFICE! I know, I know. Crazy of me. And yeah, he did have neon yellow hair and looked like a clown. Why, oh why would I let such a person despoil our bathroom like that? He could be doing drugs in there! He could be stealing our top secret Prince costumes! Or spying on the Russian Arts Foundation!
At least, that's the attitude my boss' wife seemed to take. She works in the office too. She runs the Arts Foundation. She wanted to know who had let him in and who had let him use the bathroom and then she told me that the bathroom down the hall (that's locked!) is for them. How was I supposed to know? And I didn't buzz him in. That was all her Russian girls. She wanted me to walk him down the hall and make sure he didn't get into any mischef during the fifteen steps down the hall. I sort of made a face because I thought she was being overly ridiculous and because I was stuck behind some boxes and it would be awkward to get out. She asked if I had a problem with this. No, of course not. Why would I have a problem babysitting a delivery clown while he goes to the bathroom? It's not like he's never been in an office building before.

The thing is, it's hard to take your boss seriously when she's wearing brown cordoroy pants with pockets and zippers placed at random, a brown sweater that cuts her off at her stomach and brown boots. She looked like a skinny potato. Today she has on green pants with brown cuffs that actually have a belt to be buckled around the ankles. WHY? As she walked away i almost laughed out loud.
The day before she was wearing black leather pants with lacing up the sides. my God woman! You have a child! I know you're Russain and your people were stuck in the backwaters of 1970s Soviet fashion for a long time and that a pair of jeans must seem like a luxury item to you but let go of the Eurotrash ways! Your husband dresses with more sense than you. I find it morally rephrensible when a man is better dressed than his wife.

And what's stranger still is that she seems like a very uptight, serious woman. I don't know why she feels the need to show off a crazy, wilder side with leather pants but keep the sensible side intact by pairing it with a sweater. Why would such an uptight woman dress this way? It confuses me.
And, it's not like she can't dress or look decent. There's a photo of her hanging in the hallway looking quite nice and well dressed. It looks like a photo taken for a profile in a magazine. And her husband, my boss has photos of her and their son and I wasn't sure if they were the same woman because she looked so much nicer. Maybe not the clothes, I couldn't see them in the picture. Is this a recent fashion decision? I feel like I need to do a daily fug on her. Maybe I will keep you updated on her fashion stylings.