What A Girl Wants

Ha. Ahem, Hmm. Just when I think I'm growing up and getting better at the man game I get thrown for a loop. A Fruit Loop. My new gay best friend, Jason? Turns out we're best friends for a different reason--because he's bi and has a crush on me. I mean, this guy seems so gay he's got pink flames shooting out his fingertips and he has a crush on me? First off I'm flattered. When I think of men, or women that would be attractive enough to make a person go in a certain direction that maybe they don't always go in, I am not on the top of that list. Secondly, I'm curious, partially for the reasons stated above, why am I of interest? And also because he's 35. I kinda feel cool. Thirdly, though, I'm worried that he'll make a move that I can't reciprocate and I will lose a new friend.
I know generally women bemoan the fact that a cute, cool guy is gay, but today I'm bemoaning the fact that he's not gay enough. Because then I wouldn't have to worry that I was going to hurt his pride, feelings or anything else. I don't really have a problem dating a bi guy (umm, I've done it before, without great results but that's not my fault, I don't think.) but I'm not interested in Jason in that way, and I feel like I've just been stuck with an adorable puppy, one who brings me my slippers and waits for me to get home, but I'm just too much of a cat person to appreciate it.

I'm wondering if we can just keep this a friendship. Of course, I was also wondering that last night, when I was picking out what to wear tonight when we go out for sushi. I was trying to tell myself that it's just because I don't want to look schlumpy in the city after a day at work and around a new friend, who since he's a little gay, has a good style. But part of it feels like this is a date, and even if it's a date with a gay man it's the first date I've been on in so long that dressing up for it is fun.

He came over after Thanksgiving, when all my friends had stopped by to escape from their families, and hang out with friends. He brought his Wii, which made the party, and extra alcohol, which helped. Then he stayed late to clean up with me, take out the trash and put away leftovers. Aja, who was still there when he took out the trash just looked at me with a smirk. I knew what she was thinking but I didn't want to believe it. Now, after discussing the possibility with The Pea as well, I think I have to face facts. My new gay best friend is in love with me. Sigh. Maybe we could get a spot on Sally Jessy Rapheal.