As my friend the Designer said, in a moment of particular kindness, 'For someone so smart you sure can be dumb.' Despite the obvious insult I have to agree. Otherwise I wouldn't have stayed out until 12:30 with Mark, knowing I had only gotten four hours of sleep Monday night and had to get up early this morning too, seriously depleting my already low level of sleep even further. I make bad calls in judgement constantly, partially because I can't say no, and partially because I hate to think I'm growing up and turning into a person who can't have fun when she wants because she has to go to a job she doesn't really care about anyway.
I'm incapable of turning down an opportunity that might present a moment of hilarity, answers, or experience. If someone said to me, 'Hey, do you want to go live for a week in a crack house?' I'd think, 'Can I bring my notebook to record this experience?' My sister knows this, and uses it to her advantage, but feels the same way. That's why we drove my dad's car up to New York one weeknight to see World Inferno Friendship Society at the Knitting Factory and then drove home, arriving back at five a.m. so I could take one of my finals and she could take the PSAT in science (which she rocked, by the way). Oh, did I mention that she was sixteen then?
It's why I will always hang out with the locals when I travel, take a train to another country on a moment's notice, give my heart away when I know I shouldn't, think that heartbreak isn't completely bad, travel, take back roads whenever possible, talk to anybody worth talking to at a bar, become their instantaneous best friend, and never get to work on time. Not only do I think life is too short to worry about sleep and a job I don't love, but I'm insanely curious about the things others are doing, why they're doing it and what they've learned from the experience. What started out as the inability to say no has turned into the ability to learn and experience things that others might not, which I'm certain will influence my writing and my life.
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